WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?

Things I hate hearing as a single person:

  • There’s plenty more fish in the sea – Unhelpful
  • I know your time will come – Patronising
  • Why don’t you focus on yourself instead – Nnneeded advice
  • How hasn’t someone snapped you up already – Trust me they’ve tried
  • Don’t you want kids? – Pressurising
  • So what’s wrong with you? – What’s wrong with you hun
  • How’s single life? – Stressfree
  • Don’t worry you’ll find someone eventually – Not worried but thanks
  • You have to love yourself before you love someone else – YAWN
  • I think you’re single because – I think you’re annoying because
  • I can’t imagine dating again – It’s quite fun actually
  • I was married by your age – Good for you
  • You’ll get lucky one day – Being single isn’t unlucky
  • You’re too picky – Heels and standards, go high or go home
  • You’re meeting them in the wrong places – Unhelpful, untrue, annoying
  • Lemme set you up – No thanks
  • I don’t know how you do it – Good for you
  • Well what are you doing to meet people – Omg, go away
  • Don’t you get lonely? – You can still experience loneliness in a relationship
  • Have you tried online dating? – Leave me alone plz
  • What about tinder? – No no no no no no
  • You’ll meet someone when you least expect it – Thanks for pointing that out
  • That’s why you’re still single – Stop passing judgement on my life
  • Shouldn’t you think about settling down soon – Shouldn’t you just shhh

Why are you single? Well…why is water wet? I find the question, ‘why are you single’ slightly offensive as to me it indicates that there is something wrong with me when there isn’t. Whenever I am confronted with this question it’s always thrown at me in such a negative, judgemental tone and it makes me feel undermined. I don’t go round asking people why they are in a relationship? It wouldn’t even cross my mind, so why do people, especially ones in relationships, feel as if they can undermine me by asking what’s wrong with me and why haven’t I found someone yet. I understand people might not be out to offend, they could just be curious that for someone who appears to have it all, is single, and they are wondering how someone like yourself is still ‘sitting on the shelf’ but being single doesn’t equal unhappiness just the same as being in a relationship doesn’t equal happiness so we really need to be more mindful of how our words can make others feel.

I just haven’t found that person yet and I’m okay with it and so you should be too. Of course it would be nice to have a boyfriend, someone you can come home to of an evening, have sex on tap and all that jazz but it’s not happened yet and that’s okay. I could of course get into a relationship just for the sake of having one, to appear less lonely or to have someone to do stuff with but I don’t want to waste someone else’s time and halfheartedly build a relationship that I’m not that invested in from the off. I find that’s unfair on the both of you. And yes I do believe I could have had a boyfriend by now but I don’t like jumping into committed relationships unless I’m sure that I want to build a future with them. I feel like relationships should be taken seriously and I don’t want to put my time, energy and patience into someone I’m just settling with, no one deserves that. So until I find that person, I shall continue being HAPPILY single.

Thanks for reading,

LOVE DT XO

 

 

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